A cocoon year

Happy new year!
It has again been too long since I last posted to this blog, but instead I have managed to submit my PhD thesis, so I guess that makes up for it. At the moment I’m waiting to find out when my final examination is going to be, and trying to figure out what to do next. In short, I am at the start of a year in flux. Hopefully, at the end of the year, preferably sooner, I will have emerged from my cocoon of career contemplation with a solid plan if not an actual job.
In the meantime, one would think that I will be able to update this blog at a much more regular basis, and easily write a book with all this loose time on my hands. And yet, I have written more, much more, when I was super busy, working on other things. Something has shifted now that writing is no longer a distraction but a focus, a goal. This is exactly why people tell you not to quit your day job.
I’m not sure what the psychological processes are underlying this difficulty to focus, probably fear of failure, heightened expectations, some form of imposter syndrome. After all, I may be a writer, but I feel that I cannot call myself an author until people actually pay me money for my work.
I have no idea how things will work out; I may write a readable book this year, I may not. I may get too scared and run back to research for safety, or some entirely other career might cross my path. For now, I will enjoy the time I have staying with my SO, and write some crap.

Keep you posted!


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